As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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