the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
