im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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