She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
