Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
