I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
