I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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