ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
