hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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