I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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