just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
