she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
