I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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