he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
