ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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