He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize