Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
