I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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