I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
