Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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