I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
