Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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