You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I AM VODKA MAN
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
