Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
