its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
