Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize