everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
