It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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