You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
