The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
