the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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