We're like a lot better than the average bears
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
