And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
