While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
