I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
