i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
