I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she told me i tasted like america
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
