What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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