Kiss
Puke
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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