I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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