wanna go halves on a baby?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
