is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
