Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
