where am i from again
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize