I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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