This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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