I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
