i think i have two assholes
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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