Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
