sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The Olympian is in my bed
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
