For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
