Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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