Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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