sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
