I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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