there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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