maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
