Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
