i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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