Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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