I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
