This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
