i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
