Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
