nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
