I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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