I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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