I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
