found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
