Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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