You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize