White coat. Heels.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
