she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
